Things You Don't Learn in Sex Ed.

My mother-in-law was putting together a portable heater for us...
Ben: "Grammy, can I help with that? I'm good at screwing things."

Ben stood in front of me holding a small basketball in one hand and a soft soccer ball in the other...
Ben: "Hey Mom, you wanna lick my balls? You know, licking balls helps you get big and strong."

I think a chastity belt is in Ben's future.

So Much Craziness

It's been a while since I've posted anything new. Not that I've lacked the material (the boys are always saying crazy things) but sometimes life just gets in the way. So now that my house is relatively clean and laundry and dishes are all caught up, here's what you missed in the last few weeks...

1. The boys took a shower with Jon and when everyone was clean I squeezed into our tiny bathroom to dry off and dress the kids. I had to reach past my naked husband and Ben (also naked) to get Ryan out of the shower. As I reached between them Ben said....

"Hey Mommy, you're going through a penis tunnel! And they just keep getting smaller as you go."

2. For this one you need a little background... Next to Ben's pre-school there is an ambulance company so there are always paramedics outside in the nice weather playing basketball or just killing time while waiting for calls. When the kids are out in the yard, the paramedics are always great about retrieving any balls that go over the fence. So this is Ben's opinion of paramedics...

Ben: "Mom, paramedics are good guys. You know why?"
Me: "Why Ben?"
Ben: "Because they always help when little kids lose their balls."

3. Ben: "Man, my pants are all wet now from my pee. Thanks a lot penis! You suck."