Between the constant bickering, rampant destruction, crazy acrobatics and the limitless fiascos involving poop, raising boys is one crazy ride.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Playing Catch-Up

So I'm playing catch-up again. Here are some of the boys' most latest gems....

Creatures of the lake...
Ryan: "There's a lot of little fishes in here!"
Me: "Pretty neat, huh?"
Ryan: "No! They going to make me kid stew!"
Me: "They don't eat people. They eat bugs and worms."
Ryan: "Then I better hide my penis."
Me: "Why do you need to hide your penis?"
Ryan: "Because it looks like a little worm and these fishes look hungry"

What goes up...
Ben: "Mom, does it hurt when your boobs go up and down when you run?"
Me: "I wouldn't know."
Ben: "Why? Because yours are so small?"

The boys' rendition of Jingle Bells...
Ryan: "Jingle fart, jingle fart. Batman smells someone's butt."
And Ben had the instrumental covered with armpit farts of course

Sweet dreams...
Ben talking in his sleep: "Mom, what do you do with these things?"
Me: "What things?"
Ben: "My eyelid things. Do I get rid of them or do I have to keep them?"

Wise beyond his years...
Ben: "Mom, can I write a letter to Santa? I want to tell him that there are kids out there who don't have any toys and I'm happy with what I have. He doesn't have to bring me toys. He should just give them to the other kids who don't have any."

Take me out to the ballgame...
Me: "OK guys, who can think of a word that rhymes with tool?"
Ben: "Pool!"
Me: "Ryan's turn."
Ryan: "I don't know."
Me: "I'll give you a hint. Red Sox rule and Yankees.....?"
Ryan: "Suck!"

Rulers of the porcelain throne....
Reading to the boys: "This is the story of a Princess named Pea"
Boys: "Bahahaha!!!!"
Ryan: "Like pee from my penis! Haha!"
Ben: "Does that mean they have a Prince Poop too?! Hahahaha!!!"

That was just reading the book description... we didn't make it past the first page

Best buddies...
The boys when they didn't know I was listening...
Ben:"Ryan, you can play with me if you want."
Ryan: "Oh thank you Ben! You're the best brother ever! I love you so much!"
Ben: "I love you too Ryan. I'm glad you're my brother. You're my best friend in the whole world."