Between the constant bickering, rampant destruction, crazy acrobatics and the limitless fiascos involving poop, raising boys is one crazy ride.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Trouble Ahead

Ben: "Mom, you know what my favorite letters are?"
Me: "No Ben. What?"
Ben: "T and A."

Ryan: "Shud up Ben. I can't hear me talkin to mesewf."

Thursday, September 23, 2010

When You Gotta Go, You Gotta Go

A few minutes after tucking Ben into bed, I heard the following:

Ben: "Pshhhhh... This is Captain Ben speaking. We need to land for an emergency."
"Yeah, I need to land the plane."
"Yup, gotta take a poop."
"OK, coming in for a landing, over."

Sunday, September 19, 2010

You're Gonna Poke Your Eye Out

This is what Ben had to say about Ryan running around without a diaper on:
Ben: "Ryan, you need to put that thing away before you poke someone's eye out!"

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Handle With Care

Ryan: "Mommy... go potty!"
Me: "OK, let's go."
I get Ryan situated on the potty and he sits there for a minute. Nothing happens.
Ryan: "Oh no! Broken!"
Me: "What's broken?"
Ryan: "Penis! Penis broken!"
Me: "Ryan, it's not broken. Why, does it hurt? Do you have a booboo?"
Ryan: "No Mommy. Pee no coming out. It broken!"
Me: "It's OK Ryan. If you don't have to pee it's not a big deal."
Ryan makes an angry sigh and starts hitting and shaking his penis.
Me: "Ryan, don't do that. You're going to hurt yourself."
Ryan: "So? Penis stupid, broken! Hate mine penis!"
Ryan gets off the potty and storms out of the bathroom mumbling
"Stupid penis. No unnerwear, wear baby diaper. Stupid penis."

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Stick It

Ben: "Mom, sometimes I have naked dreams."
Me: "What do you mean, naked dreams?"
Ben: "You know, where everyone is naked and playing."
Me: "OK... what do people do in those dreams?"
Ben: "They just play and share their bodies."
Me: "They share their bodies? What do you mean?"
Ben: "Oh, you know. It's called sticking."