Awesome

Ryan was sitting on the potty and nothing was happening....

Ryan: "Broken! Stupid!"
Me: "Ryan, your penis is not broken. It's fine."
Ryan: "My penis not fine. It AWESOME!"

Self Awareness and Modesty

Me: "You're a crazy guy Ben. You know that, right?"
Ben: "100 percent Mama. I make crazy look good!"

Sweetest Boy Ever

Ryan and I were cuddling on the couch and I yawned really big.
Ryan: "Mommy, you tired?"
Me: "Yeah Ryan. I'm pretty sleepy."
Ryan: "You can seep in my bed. I rub you back."

Love him!

Self Love

Ryan was sitting on the couch looking at books when he stopped, giggled and started kissing his arms all over.

Me: Ryan, why are you kissing yourself?
Ryan: I jus so cute I can' hewp mesewf.

I agree completely.

Siblings

Ben: "I want a sister."
Me: "Well, we can't choose what we have. What would you say if you got another brother?"
Ben: "Try again."

The Necessity of Insurance According to Ben

Ben: "Mom, I've been peeing my brains out today. There has to be something wrong with my penis."
Me: "Ben, your penis is fine. When you drink a lot, you pee a lot."
Ben: "I don't know Mom. I hope I have penis insurance."
Me: "What's penis insurance?"
Ben: "You know, so when my penis is broken we can go get it fixed."

Ben: "It's OK if we have a fire in our house. You know why?"
Me: "No, why?"
Ben: "Because State Farm will be there, like a good neighbor."
I think we'll be cutting back on Ben's TV watching. The kid is a commercial juke box.